it ain't love

2007-12-23T05:35:00.000-08:00

click click.
VERY CHEAP, MUST GO!
http://yellowmonkeyemergency.blogspot.com

2007-12-21T23:21:00.000-08:00

Frankie J - More Than Words

Saying I love you
Is not the words
I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you not to say
But if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel

my holidays are getting better. especially spending my days and late nights with dandan. we did a lot of shopping (but he never goes broke when i do). i bought myself a christmas present, a book from borders. we watched a lot of movies for the past few nights, and one of them was hitman, although i am underage, obviously. the movie was great and i was truly fascinated by agent 47(Timothy Olyphant). he's a great actor yo. at the same time, i told dandan abt what had happened and he did advise me a lot.

on thursday, we went to al-iman mosque to go kambing-catching. it was, of course sad, witnessing the kambings being slaughtered. i got bored after that (dad didn't allow me to help out, cause he thinks guys are supposed to do it. WHATEVER kan. haha.) and decided to play brothers lugilagi. fyi: lugilagi is his psp slim. we went home at around 3 pm and took a break since dandan was dead beat tired.

yesterday, i helped out in the sec 1 registration at school. i almost embarrassed myself in front of the parents and students.the girls and me went to KFC for lunch and then headed to the library. after natasha left with his brother, we accompanied humairah to fetch her watch and came over to my house. azura and humairah left at arnd 7pm after our last game of monopoly.

chong came home soon after and brought home creative products for our computer, including a new wireless keyboard and a webcam. i guess i'll stop here, since i have to go off real soon. so, byebye.

2007-12-19T02:26:00.000-08:00

Chris Daughtry - Over You

okay, i'm going crazy like xiao ting tong sia. and danial says i look like a sick bitch laah. daaaang. ahahaaa. i'm one happy girl yo. (are you for sure SITI NUR AISHAH?) :P eheh.

takper2. tomorrow, i'm going KAMBENG-CATCHING.
ah humairaah, kau kambing terlepas ah.

2007-12-17T03:21:00.000-08:00

Alicia Keys - No One

i'm effing sick. eeeeeeeeeergh. the high fever and sore eyes are killing me. and better still, i'm not allowed to leave the house until i've fully recovered. since last friday, i was forced to eat porridge. sedap takper jugak laah kan. someone buy me ice cream please? ben & jerry's will do.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

ok, chill aishah, chill.

2007-12-12T05:40:00.001-08:00

Lily Allen - Friday Night

started the day with a trip to school with humairah. decided to accompany her to buy school books and uniform, instead of rotting at home. hanged around at her house for awhile. darn, i wanna go to thailand and watch the lady-boys at Calypso Cabaret in action. haaha. after that, went to woodlands north plaza with hum to buy food. the food at the foodcourt was disastrous i should say.

mum and i decided to go shopping for christmas presents for the kiddies and adults after we had our late lunch. well, i was damn lazy to travel further woodlands and so, we shopped only at causeway point. anyhoot, i bought myself a pair of north star slippers. it sounds absolutely stupid to buy cheap slippers when i'm actually loaded. yeah, i'm a lazybutt (labelled by PE'AH, or humairah). okay, i have nothing more to blog.

love, i miss you man. get home quick aye.

2007-12-09T04:53:00.000-08:00

Colbie Colbat - Bubbly

ignore the previous post. i don't think i mean it. i guess at that time i was seriously distraught and couldn't manage my emotions. gaaaah, i wanna throw the past away. thank god i have kind souls around me. sometimes, life is too important to take it seriously.

anyhoot, i spent the past few days with dearest cousins hidayah and fidiana. i had a lot of fun with them. we shopped every single day, afterall, shopping is the best thing for us. we spent late nights together by the beaches and camwhored. not forgetting the times we tried to entertain ourselves by playing monopoly and uno all day long. and they even helped to pack my bag when i realised i was late for the SC camp on friday. hahaa. i love you dearest cousins.

and to this very special person, MARDHIAH, thanks a lot. i owe you a treat okeeh.? your words really made me realise, that i cannot run away from reality. thanks yaaw. &&, i forgot about my boyf. hahaa. okeeh, happy advanced birthday yaaaw. i love you truck loads and enjoy your holidays yeaaah. daaaang, i think i'm too happy alr.

2007-12-04T01:47:00.000-08:00

Timbaland ft. One Republic - Apologize

since nobody cares about me, about how i feel,
then i shall not care about anything at all.
pffft.

i hate my fucking life.

i've been going to and fro m'sia to visit my sick grandfather. he had to go through an op. seeing him in that way makes me feel sad, and i don't feel like leaving him alone in m'sia. all my plans had to be cancelled.

i sealed my lips. i kept everything to myself. i guess, i pretend too well that nobody seems to notice that there's something wrong with me. but at times, i feel like bursting everything out.

every night, i cry in the silence of my room. i would blast my mp3 player, attempting to stop myself from hearing all the shitty screams and shouts. everytime brother asks me why i cried, i'll force myself to smile and say i'm having migraine. i'm sick, sick of everything. sick of doing all the chores. sick of being a maid. sick of hearing all the rumours. sick of being criticised by all those people. and now, the hardest thing for me to do, is trying to accept the fact that dad said it. i couldn't stop crying after that. at that moment of time, i could hear mum's heart shatter into pieces. I F*CKING HATE YOU, DAD. it was disappotinting. everytime i think of it, i can't help but to cry. i keep telling myself, everything's going to be fine. we'll be back together and all this is just a bad nightmare. hopefully.

note: officially away till school starts.
p.s.: for those who are still unaware, i threw my hp into the bin. so don't bother contacting me.

2007-11-28T05:12:00.000-08:00

Son of Dork - I Want You Back

HAHAHAHAHAAA~
i can't believe my 21 year old brother fell in love with Britney Spears' GIMME MORE song. aaaah, so pathetic. abang, tolong laah.

i'm unable to upload the holiday pictures because brother wanted to reboot the computer, so all files had to be removed. basically, the holiday was awesome. seriously, it was peaceful and i wished i could stay longer. well, the environment in m'sia is obviously really different from s'pore. my grandaunt's house has her very own garden with pretty pretty flowers and beautiful swing. wonderful ey.? i'm just too lazy too elaborate. bleaaargh, i'm lazy, and fat.

&& ever since me and mum left my brothers at home, something weird took over them. they suddenly have the idea of bringing the whole family for a holiday to KL. they got super excited about it that they started surfing the net and look for travel agencies. weirdos.

okeeh, NEXT STOP: INDONESIA.
wheeeeeeee.

2007-11-21T05:12:00.000-08:00

Simple Plan - When I'm Gone

like finally, i'm updating. well, lately, i've been experiencing really strange happenings at home. first, there was this strange creature that keeps appearing in my room. big brother killed it a lot of times already, but it still appeared. secondly, there were strands of hair on the curtains in brothers' room. eeeerrghh. long ones. third strange thing, our apparels went missing. my topshop dress and forever 21 skirt were nowhere to be found and so are brothers' stuffs. okay, i bet there's a thief around here.

anyhoot, i'll be leaving singapore tomorrow evening and return on monday. although i'm looking forward to the trip, it feels so hard to leave singapore, especially boyf. i'm gonna miss you by. and before he said goodnight to me just now, he told me something super sweeet, that i swear i could melt. oh well, enjoy yourselves people, and surely, i'm gonna miss muhd. farid.

2007-11-15T21:29:00.000-08:00

Paramore - Misery Business

LIME SONIC BANG, here i come baby!
everybody thinks i'm happy. because i sound too happy and pretend too much.

2007-11-10T03:50:00.000-08:00

Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone

i've been enjoying myself. maybe enjoying myself too much that i forgot about reality. i am free now, like a bird. freedom, that was what i had been yearning for. nobody cares anymore. what i do, when i'm at home, what happens or shites, that doesn't matter anymore, cause, nobody really cares.

all this while, i was looking for something. something missing in my life.

i miss my happy family.
i miss my mum's cooking.
i miss my dad's hugs.
i miss my brothers' stupid and lame jokes.
& i miss my boyf, muhd. farid y'know.

everything changed.

2007-11-06T23:43:00.000-08:00

Boys Like Girls - The Great Escape

i have something to be happy about for now, at least. streaming results are out, and i got into 3/7, together with my friends. i'm sooo looking forward to school next year, though it'll be more than a month more to wait for.

the holidays aren't getting any better either. i'm bored of going to the same old places. i seriously want the holidays to end fast, so that i can at least enjoy myself in school than staying at home, hearing all those stupid stuffs, and act as if nothing had happened. aper nak jadi, jadilah. i can't be bothered anymore.

well, yeaaaah, to those MINAAAHS, don't ever forget to bitch about me, okeeh? and hey, i don't bloody care about what you're bitching, cause it's never gonna affect me. understand? just don't think i don't know what you minahs are bitching about yeah.

eeergh. so shitty man.
&&, all this while i forgot about you, i didn't care about you, i avoided you, for a reason.
i'm so sorry.. i still love you.

2007-11-04T04:52:00.000-08:00

Maroon 5 - Wake Up Call

if splitting is the best way, then go ahead. i don't care anymore, cause nobody cares about me. everytime these shites happen, i'd tell myself to hold on. hold on because of mum, she needs me. but it's gone too far already. i can't hold on. and everytime after me and mum quarrels, she would say, aishah, you're the only hope. please don't disappoint me. and that made me feel really guilty.

i hate it. it's so hopeless. i don't care about anything anymore, at all.
just leave me, leave me alone. please.

2007-11-02T06:28:00.000-07:00

Paula DeAnda ft. Bow Wow - Easy

wheeeeeeeee.
haah. okeeh, first, thank you to boyf for the meal and movie treat. well, of course i had fun with you throughout the whole day. we watched stardust.. and its funny laah, though it's somehow fantasy. and boyf keeps covering my eyes kaaan. haha i love you laah.

i find mum superr sarcastic today. i reached home an hour late from the movie outing with boyf. faham-faham ajer laaah. i was lucky enough to have my brother. anyhoot, brothers aren't home.. and that means i have the whole of their room to myself. yaynesss.

&& i can't wait for tomorrow's outing. will be heading to my teacher's house. pizza anyone?

i love todaaay :]

2007-11-01T04:30:00.000-07:00

BSB - Inconsolable

there is a reason why i parted with you, and the reason is because you're a useless freak and cheated me twice, dumbarse. i'm not going to be stupid again.
but there is no perfect reason why i should get back to you. even if you fall on your knees, i'll never accept you, bastard. i was stupid, but not anymore.
why look for me when you have your "OH-SO-FILIAL honey munchkin" eh?
see? like i told you, what goes around comes around. you deserve it.

LALALALALALAAAAS~

wheeeeeee. the last few days, i spent quality time with big brother. we went out together.. and he taught me a lot of stuff. one of them was, how to make small cakes like this one:

nice right? heee. && he also teached me how to do this:

shopping with big bro. was fun tooo. i enjoyed it laaah. thanks yawww, and i love you truck loads. anyhooot, my 2nd bro. is going to bangkok tomorrow for a football match. how'd i wish i can be there too. can shop for cheap cheap stuffs.

well, i miss BELLA alot alot. and above all, i miss campteeeeen. nvm, shall wait.

2007-10-28T00:37:00.000-07:00

NellyFurtado&Timbaland - MEGAMIX

i'm falling in love with this song.

thank you to those people who tried to pujuk me. special thanks to cousin liyana for inviting me for the sleepover. it was superb. though i had loads of fun, something spoilt it.

who wouldn't be angry. uh, don't wanna talk abt it. it really pisses me off. even mummy is angry. anyhoooot, i've started to go raya-ing already. like finally. daaaaah, byebye.

&&, by, imy laaah. lets meet up soooon. ily :]

2007-10-26T00:29:00.000-07:00

i don't know what crap i'm gonna write, but i just feel like releasing those stuffs in my head.

you got it wrong. you got it ALL WRONG. i just feel so hurt. just what did i do? WHAT? can't talk to me? tell me the truth? you're one friend who makes me feel like i'm your younger sister. i appreciate everything, those times we had. i just don't get you sometimes. i'm disappointed.

i feel so useless. i can't even get an A2 for higher malay. it sucks. i hate that feeling.

being the little kid in the family doesn't help either. i don't get the attention i need. sometimes, i feel like running away from the reality.

when times are bad, i don't talk. i can't differentiate what's right and what's wrong.
for a moment, i feel nothing. cause all those negative feelings are flowing into my nerves and cells. i feel angry, sad, disappointed, scared and those shitty things.

when times are bad, nobody understands me.
i don't feel like i wanna have fun. i feel like killing myself.
i want a new life please.

i'm distraught,
and all i want now is, to be alone.

2D & Herman - Di Pinggiran Aidilfitri

2007-10-15T06:07:00.000-07:00

2D & Herman - Di Pinggiran Aidilfitri

my top ten things to do:

get more money.
go to peninsula, bugis, haji lane, town and etc.
watch more movies with gfs and bf.
buy present for bf.
get myself a camera.
eat more. and grow fat. hahaa.
get a new handphone. wheeeee.
learn how to play the guitar properly. hohoo. macam betul jekk.
get good results for EOYs.
love my spidey hero forever.

i love you :)

Ziana Zain - Suara Takbir

2007-10-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

Ziana Zain - Suara Takbir

For the past few days, mum have been trying to kill me with the chores. i achieved a new record: FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, I ONLY VISITED GEYLANG ONCE. am i supposed to be happy or something? sooo, here it is:

sounds funneh larrr.
i'm in love again :]

Anuar Zain & Ellina - Suasana Hari Raya

2007-10-11T00:44:00.000-07:00

Anuar Zain & Ellina - Suasana Hari Raya

091007 - MY BIRTHDAY

break fast with friends and family. enjoyed myself playing sparklers with azura, humairah and mariam. unexpectedly, i had two birthday cakes, one from dad and another from friends. thank you guys. and i find it so funny when dad sang me a birthday song.. haaha. then, my other family came. we were supposed to go to JB, but it was cancelled. okeeyy, now, i wanna say thank you to all those kind souls:

mummy, the first ever person to wish me(and thats 1 week earlier) and give me a present(its a handphone btw).
humairah, aka PE'AH, the first person to wish me on that day itself, at 12:00:37. btw, thanks for the cake, and sparklers.
ismail, the second person to wish me, 20 seconds after humairah did. something fishy here, still haven't sleep eh?
farid, you wished me 5 times alr tauu, so yeaah, the person who wished the most no. of times. haaaha.
mariam, thanks for the cute plush toy.. you forget the tag, haha, it sure is expensive doood. thanks laah. saya sayang kamu jugaaaa.
natasha, terima kasih for that $4, haaah, now i get my HOT 100 already! best laaar.
hawaaaaa, heheee, you remembered my birthday? thanks for the wish :)
zubaidah, sorry, i didnt get to reply your sms.. prepaid low and btw, thanks for the wish tooooo.
aisyaaah, takut laah lu. haaha, saya masih tunggu ini yaah beb.
syarif, namer baru saye kann, ESAAAH. heehe. terima kasih.
zailaan, birthday saye 091007 laah, belum terlambaaat pun. hehs.
big brother, thanks for the cap and belt and THE MONEEEHH. love you.
dad, thanks for the big BIG cake, and not to forget that birthday song. hehe.
&& thanks to the others tooooo.

dooone :]

Katherine McPhee - Love Story

2007-10-07T22:58:00.001-07:00

Katherine McPhee - Love Story

firstly,
MUHAMMAD ASHRAF, i'm soooo sorry. i totally forgot about it. really really sorry. inilaah akibatnya kalau teringat kann birthday sangat. its sooo blaardy pathetic that i can totally forgot about our first month. soorry sangat2.

okaay, so i have like, 9 hrs and abt 51 minutes to tomorrow. i'm looking forward to it, especially when tomorrow is the last daay of EOYs. best kann. hehe.

okeehh, shall end here. can't wait to be FOOOURTEEEN, i'm soo gonna be old. i'm gonna start posting RAYA SOOONGS :)

Justin Timberlake - Lovestoned

2007-10-07T02:39:00.000-07:00

Justin Timberlake - Lovestoned

when you are the only hope in the family, you have a very heavy burden.
when you have a father who wasted years working,
when you have a brother who fooled around studying and
when you have a brother who cares about himself,
YOU HAVE A VERY HEAVY BURDEN.

yes, it is true that there are other people who have greater responsibility and a bigger burden. but you fail to see mine. you failed to see my burden as the only hope. me, as the ONLY person that can help the family and me as the ONLY person every family member depended on.

and yes, i was once a very clever student. indeed it is true. BUT, you failed to see that i am NOT ALWAYS the top student. you failed to understand the situation. and what you only know, is to demand.

LASTLY. yeah, you people hate my family.

AND THAT IS WHY I AM IN NO BLOOODY MOOD FOR BIRTHDAY AND HARI RAYA.
soo f*cking pissed.

and yeah, don't forget to mock at me, yes you.